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Thursday, 28 November 2013

How To Spot A Fashion Week Faker

Many moons ago, fashion week was an event hosted simply to showcase fashion and the talent of some of the worlds finest designers, it has now become a spectacle, a circus of sorts, for the people not the clothes themselves.  For one week, Somerset House becomes the stomping ground for nobodies pretending to be somebodies. How do you spot these fakers you ask? It’s easy just look out for these four tell tale signs.

Extensive Loitering
These people live in hope that they’ll be “discovered” or land themselves a place on a high-flying street style blog, ambitious huh. They’re nowhere near important enough to be invited to any shows, so the likelihood is they will spend their entire day/week stumbling around the infamous cobbles, so if you spot a couple of faces you recognize but can’t put your finger on where you know them from its probably because you don’t, you just saw them doing the same thing 2 days prior.

'Comical' Fashion Tees
The rise of the ‘ironic’ fashion tee has, believe it or not, had one advantage; it makes these nobodies stand out like crazy. “Too bad I can’t afford a real Celine tee, instead I’ll wear this comical ‘Feline’ tee to make people think I’m hip and don’t give a fuck”. See also; ‘Comme Des Fuckdown’ and ‘Aint Laurent Without Yves’ or perhaps most tragic ‘Ballinciaga’, totes hilar babe.

An Outfit Consisting Of Every Garment They Own
A sure fire way to get spotted at fashion week? Wear anything and everything in your wardrobe.  People go out of their way to dress as outlandishly as humanely possible, which causes a few raised eyebrows, a few “oh so chic” ’s but ultimately begs the question, do you seriously dress like this on a daily basis? Like you’ve rolled in superglue and ran through Susie Bubbles (and the entire neighborhoods for that matter) wardrobe? Well, each to their own I guess.

Non-stop Mentioning of Their Blog
Lastly, they’ll be swaning around in ridiculously dark sunglasses thinking they’re the next Anna Wintour. In fact, they just spend their evenings copying news stories from on to in hope one day they’ll find themselves tucked front row between their new BFF’s Alexa Chung and Pixie Geldof. If (god help you) you have the misfortune of conversing with the fashion week nobodies, I suggest you mentally tally how many times they mention their awesome fashion blog or perhaps countdown how long it takes them to mention it, you never know it could make the conversation slightly entertaining.

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